biglyburrito 5 days ago
  • strathmeyer 3 days ago

    Do these articles show up for people? I get three lines that fade out.

    • mdip 3 days ago

      The only issue I've ever had with archive.* links had to do with compatibility with Cloudflare's DNS but those just fail to resolve. I'm not sure what three lines that fade out is all about -- extensions, maybe?

    • neonate 2 days ago

      https://archive.md/Owu7u works for me. I wonder why this link would be appearing differently to different people. I've seen that faded three line thing many times, but this time.

mdip 3 days ago

A buddy of mine started me on a similar habit that I find obnoxious but impossible to kick.

It started when we were in a meeting with an executive (who was a wonderful man) who -- due to nerves -- used the filler phrase "ya know" about twice a sentence -- like someone who's nervous might use the filler word "um" or "uh."

When the meeting was over, I'd joked that he'd said "ya know" three times in the same sentence and without missing a beat he said "541, I counted"[0]. He went on to explain that when someone repeats a word/phrase, especially if it's a word that's used "to sound intelligent", he can't help but count.

Incidentally, despite having no reason to be suspicious[1], I didn't believe him and being in an IT department with its share of folks with social anxiety and various forms of autism[2], it took all of a day before we were in another meeting with someone who, I think, pronounced "infeasible" as "in-THESE-able." A minor mistake, but he repeated it a solid thirty times and liked to really push that emphasis on the second syllable. We got out of the meeting and I asked for his number. "37"[0] he said. I was one off. It ended up becoming a weird sort of corporate meeting game that we did a few times a month over 17 years. It's a ridiculously easy habit to pick up, it turns out. I've been out of that job for years and I still do it. No real reason, any longer. I don't think less of people who don't have a solid command of public speaking -- as in, I'm not doing it for the purpose of feeling superior or being a d!ck and pointing it out to them. The only people that know I do this (other than readers of my comments on HN) are my kids and the guy who got me hooked.

[0] The exact number escapes me but it was a suspiciously random sounding number

[1] This guy marched to the beat of a different drummer. I have so many stories of outlandish claims he made that turned out to be absolutely true by this point that I should have taken him at his word. By this point he'd shown me a receipt indicating his bill was less than a dime for what must have been two carts worth of groceries (early 2000s), and it was only a dime because he bought something from the register to avoid a negative balance (a problem he's navigated in the past).

[2] Myself and (I suspect) my friend are diagnosed ASD as well.

  • jaggederest 3 days ago

    I swear I did this once in school, to a teacher with a notoriously circuitous manner of speaking, by holding up my fingers and counting the filler words, and he slowly noticed it, became mildly horrified, and... fixed it, within about 6 weeks. Pretty impressive, I wonder what he did to change so quickly.

    Originally he'd take 2 minutes to get through his name and phone number on a voicemail, and a few months later you wouldn't even recognize him by how clear and concise he was.

    • tomcam a day ago

      Wonderful story but we must also acknowledge the teacher for going along with it so gracefully

      • jaggederest a day ago

        All the credit is his, I was just a dumb little punk who didn't know better. Handling it gracefully and making such an astounding change in response.

    • craftkiller 3 days ago

      With how great speech recognition is becoming, it seems like this is something remote workers could easily discreetly do since our conversations tend to be stationary, through a computer, and with only a small part of our body visible. Just wire up some electrodes to zap you every time the computer detects filler. I'm now seriously considering doing it myself.

      • alex1115alex 3 days ago

        One of our app devs built this recently, but for swearing:

        https://youtube.com/shorts/FthRCwn1JuM?si=lC3eWAUI7sV-LL-r

        A wearable speech coach would be awesome, though. Detect filler words and give you an alert on your HUD when it detects "uh" "uhm" etc.

        • craftkiller 3 days ago

          Neat! Without the electrodes I don't think it would be effective for me for "uhh" / "uhm". Considering how unconscious filler words are, I think I'd need the immediate unignorable feedback. But you've got all the logic there, it just needs to be made more violent.

        • khafra a day ago

          How should the speech coach stimulate you when it detects you using a particularly euphonously or impactfully?

      • gcanyon a day ago

        It would be about as easy, and certainly less painful, to just have a video processor remove and smooth over filler words in real time.

        If the filler words are excessive it would slow down the apparent rate of speech, but obviously not the real rate of speech, by definition, since we're only removing words with zero semantic value.

      • sneak a day ago

        Why are filler words bad? Why do we need to be trained not to use them?

        • physicles 17 hours ago

          People in this thread point out that filler words make communication less effective, primarily by being distracting.

        • drekipus 17 hours ago

          if you've got nothing to say, you're just adding noise.

          • sneak 7 hours ago

            Why do we care that much about the SNR of spoken words? Language is inherently quite redundant.

    • HPsquared a day ago

      Your non-verbal communication sent the message.

  • frereubu 3 days ago

    For my sins I was once in a Microsoft SQL training session. The guy leading it was great, but at the end of every thought he'd make a noise in his throat, like "uhn" or similar. I couldn't stop noticing it acting like a carriage return at the end of each thought, and hyper-fixated on it to the extent that I learnt precisely nothing.

    • Suppafly a day ago

      A team I was on onetime had some French workers and one of them was very helpful, but every sentence had him struggling to think of at least one English word or phrase and he did this weird guttural clearing throat uh-uh-uh-uh-uh sound, like a car backfiring or a lawnmower starting up, instead using an actual filler word or something like "how you say..?"

    • djmips a day ago

      Nvidia or someone needs to get on a method to filter out the filler words / weird sounds in realtime and failing that automated post processing of saved presentations.

      • HPsquared a day ago

        Teams already has a kind of 'speaker coach' feature, that could be extended.

        Looking forward to videoconferences with filtered faces and speech that has been smoothed over with the occasional computer glitch, but people still prefer it.

        • olyjohn 20 hours ago

          I feel like the next big thing for Teams is going to be AI monitoring your emotional microexpressions via webcam. Then it'll give a presenter or manager or executive a summary of all of your emotions throughout the meeting with timestamps. We won't even have the privacy of our thoughts anymore. But it'll be a great tool to enforce conformity.

  • protocolture a day ago

    I find a lot of people in IT and adjacent areas picked up a lot of their vocab by reading, without any guidance on pronunciation. I tend to let them get to 3 goes before correcting them.

    • freedomben a day ago

      Indeed, this is a very common occurence IME. It's happened to me a couple times (especially the word "contiguous" which to this day I don't think I've heard another person pronounce out loud other than myself, and I find the word confuses people), but I hear it constantly. Even the word "Linux" (you often hear pronounced "Lie-Nix") often gets people. Then considering all the acronyms which don't have a standardized pronunciation, it's an interesting time.

  • vmatouch a day ago

    Regarding "to sound intelligent," I've recently begun distinguishing between two forms:

    1) Saying something correctly but unnecessarily complicated - for example, when a project manager says, "We do not have financial resources for that," instead of simply, "We don't have money for that," when declining a team dinner (a CFO's report is another story).

    2) Saying something incorrectly - for instance, "It is really flustrating."

    I've started to dislike the latter more. The former involves people who at least use correct phrases, even if they're trying too hard to impress others. The latter indicates people who simply don't read.

    • mannykannot a day ago

      'Flustrated' looked to me like a potentially useful portmanteau word, and at least Merriam-Webster seems to agree, which would give some legitimacy to 'flustrating'. Whether the person you hear saying the latter had this in mind is, of course, another matter.

      To give an idea of how I see it as potentially useful, there are some frustrating events which leave a person in no doubt that there's nothing they can do to remedy the situation (or that they have no choice but to put a lot of work into fixing a situation which never should have arisen), while others might leave a person in a tizzy over what to do now.

      • dylan604 a day ago

        There's plenty of times I've deliberately used a made up word that onomatopoetically just fit better. See? It just works.

        I absolutely know when I'm doing it, and it's not a confusing/conflating of two words situation. I see it no different than when people say any new phrase like how people just say "bet" in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with the word's definition. At least what I'm doing still uses the meaning of the pormanteau's base words appropriately rather than just using a word randomly because it's hip

        • drekipus 17 hours ago

          I actually LOVE making up words that fit. it's a little side game i like to play.

          sometimes language has gaps. sometimes it's worth it to just invent a word to convey meaning.

    • sdiupIGPWEfh 15 hours ago

      > The latter indicates people who simply don't read.

      Or more charitably, their vocabulary is fine and they merely suffer from noun recall deficiency and or other issues with public speaking. I personally find myself thinking two or more equally valid ways to express a thought, then fumble, saying a mix of both.

    • gosub100 a day ago

      Sort of a variant on 1) I dislike speakers that overuse "essentially" and "basically". I think their motivations vary but almost always the words can be removed without any change in meaning.

  • craftkiller 3 days ago

    I once worked for a CEO that pronounced "year" as "yeah". I loved it. Every meeting felt like a pep rally because it was sprinkled with phrases like "we've got four yeahs" and "we worked all yeah on this".

    • HPsquared a day ago

      A LOT of people in the nuclear industry pronounce it as 'nucular'. I'm a little horrified.

      • crazygringo a day ago

        You can read all about it:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nucular

        But it's not something to be horrified by; it's no different from how we commonly pronounce "February" without the first "r", or "government" without the "n", or "Wednesday" flipping the "dne" to "nd".

        What's even more interesting is that it's only in the context of weapons/energy. The same person will say "nuclear family" the way it's spelled.

        But in the weapons/energy context, it's just a natural re-use of the suffix in "moleCULAR", "oCULAR", "cirCULAR". Technically wrong in terms of its derivation, but it feels entirely natural to say, and requires less tongue movement.

        It's not due to a lack of education or anything. It's more like a regional dialect, where the region is nuclear weapons and energy.

        • fvrghl a day ago

          Do you pronounce it as Wed-nes-day?

          I've never heard it as anything but Wends-day, but maybe everyone else is wrong.

          • ithkuil 11 hours ago

            That's the way I always heard it too and indeed it contains the consonant cluster "nd" (inverted from what's spelled)

          • crazygringo 21 hours ago

            No, that's my point. That words can be pronounced very differently from their spelling.

      • blipvert a day ago

        Simpson fans, surely, for obvious reasons.

        I’d bet that they love the foilage in fall, too.

        • sjcsjc a day ago

          Someone has to say cromulent at this point

          • freedomben a day ago

            Always remember, "A Noble Spririt Embiggens The Smallest Man."

      • bena a day ago

        This may be wrong or apocryphal or a third thing:

        But I recall reading that this is a deliberate affect used by those who work with nuclear material. Partly as a shibboleth, partly as a means of making the word easier to say quickly.

        It came up because George W Bush would pronounce it “nucular” and that was given as the reason. All if my memory serves that is.

        • HPsquared a day ago

          It would make sense as a different spelling and pronunciation I guess. Like "molecular" or "ocular" or "particular". Fits in better.

    • alsetmusic 3 days ago

      Northeast USA, maybe NY or NJ?

      • craftkiller 3 days ago

        I think he was Australian but we were in silicon valley at the time (though I live+work in that area now).

        • nopassrecover a day ago

          Yeah I can picture it. The non-rhotic R on its own doesn’t narrow it further, but there would be distinction within Australia based on the sounds of the “ea” part.

          Off the cuff I can picture some Australians taking it more nasally at the top of the palate sort of yee-ah (think Steve Irwin), a more neutral yeehr with a hint of final r (but more clipped and mono syllable than an American accent), or even a yair that might push as far as yuhhh (heading towards a sort of hybrid of Californian Valley Girl and the posh British accent used in American media).

          Bit of an exploration of the evoking Australian accent here: https://amp.abc.net.au/article/103321146

        • dylan604 a day ago

          Australians have other speech things too like shortening words and ending them with a long E sound. breakfast => breaky(or however they spell it down under). or adding an "oh" syllable to words like right-o

      • hoseja a day ago

        All dose poiple, all dose hamboigahs.

    • DiggyJohnson a day ago

      Boston?

      • freedomben a day ago

        Quote possibly, I'm guessing a resident of Boston for many yeahs

  • psunavy03 3 days ago

    If you speak publicly at all as part of your job, it's actually a good thing to keep track of your verbal/physical tics and try to eliminate/minimize them. Whether it's "umm," "you know," a hand gesture you keep doing, subconsciously swaying back and forth slightly, or whatever. They're all distracting even before you get to the level where people start counting them.

  • stronglikedan 3 days ago

    > his bill was less than a dime for what must have been two carts worth of groceries (early 2000s)

    Ah, yes, the coupon cutters that would spend all of their free time trying to get a deal. But if they were happy doing it, then who am I to judge.

    • mdip 3 days ago

      He did it more out of necessity, originally, but when I met him, yeah, it was "for fun". Among the other stories I found to be true was "I worked at KFC for $8/hr and owned a home[0]"

      [0] In a lower-middle-class neighborhood.

      • e3bc54b2 3 days ago

        Now I want more of these stories. I've met couple of drummers among sitarists in life but you've got 17 years(!) worth of stories :D

        • GuinansEyebrows 21 hours ago

          tangentially, i really like that turn of phrase (drummers among sitarists) :)

    • codersfocus 2 days ago

      More likely he learned the algorithm to create fake coupons himself. If I recall correctly it's literally just the UPC and how much to take off. There was NO security to the system.

  • WWLink 2 days ago

    I had a college professor who used "basically" and "essentially" so much that it was awfully distracting.

    • aoanevdus a day ago

      When I was a kid, an adult told me that I should stop using “basically” as a filler word because people will interpret it as an insult to their intelligence (ie. “You’re not smart enough for the whole thing, so I will just tell you the basic version”). I’ve been attentive to the way other people use the word ever since, and I think they have a point. Some people say it very frequently and don’t mean anything by it. But a good chunk of the time, it does seem like there is a status game going on when people use that word.

      • jodrellblank a day ago

        The other side of that is offering a ‘basically’ version out of respect for the listener, assuming they have more important things to do than listen to a detailed nerd-rambling of something they aren’t interested in. Listener/speaker can expand on the details or ask questions later, if needed.

        It’s possible to mean it either way, or to hear it and interpret it either way.

      • whstl 9 hours ago

        Some cultures or regions use the word "basically" more frequently than others. And if there one thing I don't want to do is judging whole populations because of the way they traditionally use the language.

      • HelloMcFly a day ago

        This seems like a highly overwrought analysis where the adult formed a mental model, began assuming the motivations and intentions of others with certainty, and passed on this "lesson" a malleable mind who had no reason to debate it.

        The idea that people use this word as a subtle/unintentional insult to others' intelligence rather than as a synonym for "essentially"... I just don't know how people arrive at such ungenerous conclusions so confidently.

      • Suppafly a day ago

        >But a good chunk of the time, it does seem like there is a status game going on when people use that word.

        I find that's basically never the case and generally if they are playing some sort of status game, the entire conversation is condescending, so worrying about one normal phrase is pointless.

      • HPsquared a day ago

        I prefer "essentially" ... pretty much the same meaning but it's more like a sign of respect "I'm summarising this point to its essence for brevity, as you are perfectly capable of filling in the blanks yourself".

    • tomcam a day ago

      Which bothers me a lot in that context. Those are normally powerful distinctions in an academic context…

  • globnomulous a day ago

    > Myself and (I suspect) my friend are diagnosed ASD as well.

    "My friend and I."

  • al_borland a day ago

    I’ve played similar games at work when people were particularly distracting by how often they said some of these things.

    Funny enough, “ya know” was one of the main phrases. I hear that a lot from people in NJ, I’m curious if your co-worker was from NJ as well, or the general vicinity.

  • robofanatic a day ago

    This behavior has some parallels with what happens in the movie Dinner for Schmucks.

  • georgebcrawford 2 days ago

    "beat of a different drummer."

    I really want to check if it's drum or drummer, but will refrain and live in hope that it was a clever joke

    • charlieglass a day ago

      I thought is was just "marches to the beat of his own drum." That way, no other party is involved, it is him doing life the way he way he wants to.

    • tomcam a day ago

      Also be careful about adding an “f”

  • lo_zamoyski 3 days ago

    > [2] Myself and (I suspect) my friend are diagnosed ASD as well.

    That hypercorrection is ghastly.

KineticLensman 3 days ago

We used to make notes of management-isms and then play buzzword-bingo in company-wide meetings. When you got a full card, to properly win, you were required to ask the management a question that included the word 'house' (saying 'bingo' would have been too obvious, even for our managers).

  • echelon 3 days ago

    We used to do this for every earnings call.

    We printed up bingo cards filled with buzzwords, products, trends, things we thought the analysis might say, etc. We charged $15 per card, all of which was pooled and given to the charity of the winner's choice. When the CEO caught on, he started matching the donations.

    There was a reverse version of this played too. We voted in Slack for some weird word or phrase that the CEO or CFO had to say during the earnings calls. They were super awkward and totally unrelated, and the goal was they had to weasel the phrase in somehow. It was pretty funny.

    (For someone else in the know, without giving away the company, do you remember any of the wacky phrases?)

    • pugz a day ago

      I currently work at the company. Wacky words that I can find in Slack include

      - updog

      - stegosaurus

      - brat

      - flabbergasted

      - superbowl

      - crouton

      • echelon a day ago

        I remember stegosaurus! Good times.

      • xeromal a day ago

        lol idk why crouton has me flabbergastedly in stitches.

    • sigkill a day ago

      > the goal was they had to weasel the phrase in somehow

      Reminds me of the old short story, I think it was called "The Club"?

    • KineticLensman a day ago

      > (For someone else in the know, without giving away the company, do you remember any of the wacky phrases?)

      The phrases from that company (late 90s) are now long-gone from my mind, mere flotsam on the subsequent sea of bullshit.

      But later on I worked a lot with soldiers from the British Army and discovered to my delight that they also had some excellent phrases. Off the top of my head

      Wolf closest to the sledge / Crocodile closest to the canoe = highest priority problem

      Left and right of arc = the extreme ends of a spectrum of possible choices

      Don't fight the white = in a test, answer the question rather than complain about it (in staff college exams, the question was on white paper, answer was a different coloured paper, apparently)

      Interview without coffee = a dressing down from a senior officer

      etc etc.

  • protocolture a day ago

    Had a similar game when I was in a weird role. 2 separate lines of business had their own internal IT functions. However, thanks to a weird set of accountability/responsibility we maintained the hardware/platform of the public webserver while they maintained the website.

    So we had 2 pots. The meaner pot was internal to our own team, where we would bet on both how many users would connect to the webserver before it crashed, and then what the other team would blame as the fault. It was always ~3200 and it was almost always RAM.

    One of us would sit in on their publicity events, and present the other team with live readouts on hardware usage. The server had umpteen processors with eleventy Jigahertz, and all the RAM that could fit in the chassis (~128GB from memory). 3000 odd users would connect simultaneously, RAM usage would spike to 2%, processor usage would spike to 3% and the website would crash. We would cash in on their pot as to the number of successful simultaneous connections. Then we would go back to our team, and cash in on users AND whatever they were blaming.

    After which our IT managers would have their monthly duel where ours would send them a quote to build a better website and they would send us a strongly worded email about how they felt the hardware was the bottleneck.

  • CPLX 3 days ago

    I once had to work with a consultant who was the most over the top bullshit artist I had ever seen in my life. Their line of work was getting "out of it" execs to feel like he understood the online world and getting paid to create nonsense launches.

    I used to take notes and just try to capture the buzzword onslaught. Here's an old notepad cut-and-paste from a single 90 minute meeting this guy was in:

    We should sidebar

    I’ll call an audible and order lunch

    So maybe we’ll put that into a live fire exercise

    We’re elbow deep now

    I’m starting to ladder into goals and tactics

    Let’s explore this for a second so we can put it in the parking lot

    Let’s take a bio-break

    It’s not on the top of my want-to-do list

    I want to get back to some more basic block and tackle

    If you look at it as crawl, walk, run. I mean I hate that metaphor, but we’re transitioning from crawl to walk

    I have some suggestions around merchandising homepage content

    I’ve already done concepting

    It’s analytics with icebreaking on the social side

    I’ll type up outputs and share

    We’re potentially opening the aperture on expert interviews

    Out of this decision comes wayfinding for that decision

    I’m looking for the exponential in this

    Alright, I think we can land it

    • bluecheese452 3 hours ago

      Let’s take a bio-break seems like the standard let’s take a restroom break in the area I live in.

    • Suppafly a day ago

      Do you just hate business jargon and lingo in general? A lot of those phrases are useful and easily understood ways to describe processes. Most of them are fairly common in business and office contexts as well.

      • CPLX a day ago

        I don't hate jargon. I actually think jargon, as a concept, is clearly incredibly useful. When done right, you can take ordinary English words that people think they understand but we all don't agree on, and replace them with specific words only used in certain situations -- thus removing ambiguity about their meaning.

        In such an instance that fact that normal people don't understand is kind of the point, you don't want people to think they understand when it's a specific or technical concept that has an agreed upon meaning, and they aren't yet familiar.

        For example if I call something a "planning meeting" it's different then if I call it a "sprint meeting" as the latter isn't really used outside of a technical context and comes with a bunch of implicit assumptions about how the meeting will be structured and why it exists. While I could simplify it and call it a "planning meeting" in doing so I would actually lose clarity and specificity to those who are familiar with the jargon. Likewise someone unfamiliar might be prompted to figure out what that jargon means before showing up.

        That's what jargon is for when used right. Then there's the other way to use it, which is to obscure or distract from the fact that the concepts being presented are too simple or obvious (or tangential) to be insightful at all, and the speaker has nothing to offer. The examples here were of someone doing the latter. Trust me, I was there.

    • wglb a day ago

      “Were elbow deep now” sounds like Judy Blunt’s description of helping birth a calf in “Breaking Clean”

  • marcusb 3 days ago

    I once had a coworker who called this "bullshit bingo" and had a bingo grid drawn on a whiteboard at her desk with all of the latest buzzwords.

    On a somewhat-related note, my grandfather told me that while he was in Officer Candidate School in the Army, there would be someone assigned to ring a bell whenever a person who was leading a briefing or otherwise presenting faltered with an "oral pause" (uh, ummm, etc.) I don't know if this was a normal or ongoing practice.

    • quercusa 3 days ago

      Toastmasters has someone assigned to count these when someone is making a speech but the bell is next level.

delichon 3 days ago

I take joy in inventing new broken cliches and save them up for conversations. If I saw someone keeping score I'd ask them to publish a leaderboard so that I could compete for bragging wrongs.

  • chris_st 3 days ago

    Where I worked last the dress code was super relaxed, unless a bigwig or customer was expected. Made a co-worker laugh once by describing us as "Dressed to the ones".

  • heresie-dabord a day ago

    Sometimes such mistakes are genuinely intriguing revelations. For example, in TFA:

    "Read between the tea leaves.”

  • staticautomatic 2 days ago

    You don’t exactly have to be a rocket surgeon to invent them.

  • wut-wut 3 days ago

    Same faml, same.

cafard 3 days ago

A sometime co-worker had on display in her office a list of "Molly-isms" (name redacted) assembled by those who worked closely with her. I did not particularly, and don't recall them.

A woman I worked with long ago was trying to tell her boss that something was "a whole new ballgame" but came out with "whole new ballpark." The boss didn't pick up on it, but after work she mentioned it to her husband, and "a whole new ballroom" became a family catchphrase.

  • nehal3m 3 days ago

    A friend of mine simply forgot the term thirsty and told me he felt the urge to drink. We kept that one too.

    • djmips a day ago

      Toddlers are great for inventing phrases. Like Eating Store for restaurant.

      • tomcam a day ago

        That is a way better term than restaurant

        • chillingeffect 4 hours ago

          I sometimes call my hamper the "clothes garbage." :)

          There's actually a subreddit for these terms... can't remember atm.

    • havermeyer a day ago

      It makes me think of the how "I have thirst" is the literal translation from the French for "I'm thirsty."

      • Suppafly a day ago

        >It makes me think of the how "I have thirst" is the literal translation from the French for "I'm thirsty."

        That's how those sorts of phrases work in German too.

      • dirtyhippiefree a day ago

        There’s power in not allowing a need to define you.

        “I have autism” is a better statement than “I’m autistic” because autism doesn’t define me.

        • Suppafly a day ago

          >“I have autism” is a better statement than “I’m autistic” because autism doesn’t define me.

          If that sort of thing is useful for you, go for it, but I'm also leery of these attempts to redefine language when they involve larger campaigns. Most people don't consider "I'm X" to define them when it comes to other concepts and honestly it seems like it could be helpful to consider such things are part of your identity. I'm black/autistic/diabetic/etc puts in a larger community. It doesn't define who you are overall, but does give you some sense that one of your attributes is shared with others.

    • THroaway225 3 days ago

      that made me feel like I wanted to start laughing!

      • switch007 a day ago

        I also had an urge to make my belly move in and out in a way that made a funny noise come out my mouth!

  • mrspuratic 3 days ago

    My handle arose from a former colleague's attempt, decades ago, to describe a network malfunction he was trying to diagnose as either (or both) of spurious and erratic in a single word...

    • dmurray 3 days ago

      Not too be confused with sporadic?

agentultra 3 days ago

A family member of mine did this as an engineer for Chrysler. He passed on a copy of his “dictionary” to me and I’ve kept adding to it. I enjoy a good malapropism/egg-corn. He’s not around anymore but the legacy continues.

Update we kept our practice a secret though, it wasn’t nice to point these things out to people.

  • NegativeK 3 days ago

    My grandfather was well known at work for, uh, creative sayings. Malapropisms, misheard cliches, or just wild-ass new phrases. His coworkers took to secretly writing them down over the years, and they read them off during his retirement party to universal delight.

    A copy of the list ended with us, the family, and has come up during my grandfather's wake and a few times since then.

    Absolutely agree that it might not be nice, but context depending it absolutely can be -- as well as a really touching legacy.

  • HideousKojima 3 days ago

    Had a boss was terrible in other ways (he got fired over sexually harassing one of my coworkers) but he would constantly mess up common sayings. The one I remember most is "bumpin the bumper traffic" instead of "bumper to bumper".

    • parineum 3 days ago

      > he got fired over ... bumpin the bumper

mhb 3 days ago

The risk of getting flagged added to the pressure of presenting at meetings, Murphy said. “All the sudden you’ll hear a pen click, and you’re thinking, ‘What did I say that wasn’t right?’”

"All the sudden"?

  • Ezra 3 days ago

    I think this is an eggcorn/mondegreen for “all of a sudden”.

    Seems weird for the WSJ.

    • voxic11 3 days ago

      It's a quote from a source so at most I would expect a "[sic]". Thinking about it more... it seems like an intentional mistake by the speaker to demonstrate the sort of verbal flub the quote is about. In which case it's pretty clever and a "[sic]" would kind of ruin the subtlety of the joke.

      • mhb 3 days ago

        I think you're being too generous to both the speaker and the WSJ, but maybe that's too cynical.

geocrasher 3 days ago

As somebody who had to withhold a burst of laughter when hearing "procurator" mispronounced as "procreator", I approve of this article before even reading it.

  • NikkiA a day ago

    I once was asking my parents to pick up some batteries for something or other while they were at the supermarket, when I was about 13/14 and had a brain fart and said 'Durex' (a brand of condoms common to most of the world except most of America) instead of 'Duracell'.

    A tough conversation followed.

    • froindt a day ago

      My brain couldn't decide which word to use. I asked my mom when someone had moved into their condo/condominium, which came out as condom.

  • chris_wot a day ago

    Former Prime Minister of Australia, Tony Abbott, was once caught extolling the virtues of his candidate - he called her the "suppository of all wisdom".

    • an_aparallel 20 hours ago

      Im glad i read this far down, Abbott was in a class of his own for sheer idiocy.

  • Suppafly a day ago

    Honestly, without context of the legal system or such, I'd assume procurator was a typo for procreator.

    • geocrasher 3 hours ago

      Context: Discussing a first century Roman politician

morkalork 3 days ago

My spouse and I keep a running catalogue of these for fun. They're a great indicator of how tired and burnt out one another are. Recently there was "begruntle" for what I guess is begrudgingly doing something while disgruntled.

seethishat a day ago

It's natural for busy people in chaotic environments to misspeak. Our brains are doing many things at once while also trying to convey an idea/thought verbally.

It's a side effect of stress/pressure/multi-tasking. It's not an indication of intelligence.

  • globnomulous a day ago

    A smarter person, with a better command of the language, will be better able to negotiate those difficulties. So the ability to speak effectively under stress really is a sign of education and intelligence.

  • stavros a day ago

    Nobody disagrees, the article is pretty clear that it's all good fun.

kcatskcolbdi 3 days ago

Hey, keeping your sanity in corpo world can be a challenge. Sometimes you need a mini game like this just to help pass the time.

  • robertlagrant 3 days ago

    Hopefully retiring at 55 helps.

    • andelink 3 days ago

      I don’t think it does. 55 is too late IMO

  • wvbdmp 3 days ago

    Probably helps with paying attention/not falling asleep during meetings, too. And for everyone involved, if it’s public. It’s a bit like a swear jar.

  • bell-cot 3 days ago

    It would be fantastic if large non-corporate org's had no need for buzzword bingo games.

    But alas! Nope.

nopmat 3 days ago

A former boss of mine used to say “coopulate” when they meant “cooperate”.

lo_zamoyski 3 days ago

Arguably, the frequency of malapropisms in the boardroom suggests economic mobility is taking place. The vernacular of those in the socioeconomic class that someone of a lower socioeconomic class aspires to join will be unfamiliar.

Clumsy expressions of socioeconomic aspirations go beyond language, of course. Take the infamously bad taste of the parvenu and the comical snobbery of the nouveau riche and those who ape them.

  • sollewitt 3 days ago

    Kinda like some HN posters write the way they think academics talk?

  • neves 3 days ago

    Best comment here, and even made me change my perspective. I have a work colleague that makes a lot of grammar mistakes. It annoys me but I'm wrong. Funny mistakes everyone makes, but we must be careful with our prejudices. Thanks.

apercu a day ago

Interesting. I had a similar experience mentoring someone who had a lot of potential but tended to stutter when presenting to clients until they would get in to a flow. What I did was gently say that "I, too, am sometimes nervous presenting to a room" of strangers (usually executives) during project pitches due to the stakes.

So I told them that my trick was to get them talking about their business straight out of the gate (because most people like talking about themselves at that level) and their stutter went away.

I feel like that's maybe more constructive approach.

paulcole 3 days ago

I would love to know the most drama caused by this thing over the years —- and how close it came to being shut down.

millzlane 3 days ago

Not relevant, but was that a Honda in his Driveway?

  • cebert 3 days ago

    No, that's a Mustange Mach-e

    • millzlane 2 days ago

      Oh okay thanks for the updaten

Spooky23 3 days ago

My team did a "Top 10" amusing/stupid/notable sayings and trolls in a year and has a little mock tribunal in the week after Christmas to determine the winner. The top troll got a little troll doll, spray painted gold, and we usually had the best or worst saying framed somehow. The top contributor for sayings would get a lucite award, which had been given to someone who was a charlatan who had left the company, updated with a sharpie and duct-tape.

That was one of my favorite groups of co-workers. Miss that crew!

efitz a day ago

My ex wife used to do the same thing in her work meetings with a particular executive; she kept a notebook with his verbal missteps.

It wasn’t until much later that I learned that the particular mistake this guy was prone to making was called a mondegreen, not a malapropism.

whywhywhywhy a day ago

Lot of people with the filler word tick you can tell if they know what they’re talking about or just wanting to make you think they know because confident subjects often don’t include the filler words.

0xbadcafebee a day ago

Seems like a weird pastime. Like recording spelling misttakes. Sniglets are a much more smarter way to spend your time. Rather than just a brain turd, they're a placental ejection of humor and common smarts.

wglb a day ago

My own personal favorite is “Not my horse, not my monkey”

NoSalt a day ago

I have my own subset of mis-sayings that I notice. The biggest one is when people say:

"Coming down the pipe." instead of "Coming down the pike."

:-D

  • Suppafly a day ago

    >"Coming down the pipe." instead of "Coming down the pike."

    I'd honestly expect the former to be used far more often since pipes are used everywhere and things flow down them and pike is an antiquated term for roads and is only used in certain regions.

tptacek 2 days ago

"Mazel tov cocktail" can be no flub!

phendrenad2 3 days ago

I like when phrases get reversed. Like "better sorry than safe" or "look both ways after crossing the road".

  • mturmon a day ago

    Related, my wife introduced me to "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it" -- I'm a fan

helz a day ago

Every time somebody says "parenthesee" my nerves fray and my hair stands on end.

wampwampwhat 3 days ago

any chance someone here works at ford and is willing to share the full spreadsheet? I need some inspiration

mannyv 21 hours ago

how do I get a copy of this spreadsheet?

DrNosferatu 2 days ago

Didn’t he have better things to do?

This makes me question Ford’s corporate effectiveness, and therefore their cars…

bitwize 2 days ago

My mom and sister both use "six to one, half a dozen to another". I use the actual form of the idiom, "six of one, half a dozen of the other" and my mom used to correct me. I guess I know why she said it wrong: imagine two people. And one says "It's six", and another says "no, it's half a dozen". They're both the same, they mean the same, but it's six to one (person), half a dozen to another (person).

That said, if I were going to start a Borg-themed band, Six of One would be a kick-ass name.

  • Suppafly a day ago

    I like when people use a really abbreviated "six one half dozen another" because it's basically incomprehensible if you don't know the actual phrase.

  • wglb a day ago

    Like Seven oh Nine?

cantrecallmypwd a day ago

A coworker of mine kept score on paper when the associate vice provost used a certain bizword during their all-hands speech. They were a nepo hire because they were friends or family of Condi Rice.

carabiner 2 days ago

We had a guy named Smith, and well we saved his sayings as Smithisms in a word doc.

jgalt212 a day ago

If you want to succeed in public life it helps to be articulate. Just look at Kamala and Don. Oh, wait. Cancel that.

chris_wot a day ago

I once played a game of cards and it was dragging... and someone yelled out "a quick game is a fast game!"

djaouen 3 days ago

I propose a solution to this problem: in meetings, make sure nobody speaks at all. Problem solved from your end, am I right???

danesparza 3 days ago

And people wonder why American manufacturing (and Detroit in particular) has done so poorly for the past 50 years. It's starts at the top. Here is an incredibly candid (and depressing) example of this.

Perhaps if they paid attention this closely to market conditions and manufacturing innovations, Ford wouldn't have this embarrassing example of a corporate executive that is so out of touch.

  • meepmorp 3 days ago

    Holy shit, you're right - it does seem reasonable to see this one little story as a valid critique/indictment of US industrial policy!